The list of NICU Mom worries is limitless. Everyday is something different, no two days are the same. You worry about weight gain, heart rates, respiration rates, exam results, blood test results, feedings, progress, and most of all the UNKNOWN. The unknown has to be the hardest of them all. Like all Moms we worry about the well-being and health of our children. A healthy life is almost a given when you give birth full-term but when you have a preemie everything is thrown out the window and instead every quality of life concern floods in.
Thoughts that have flooded my mind in the last 8 days include:
Will my girls have normal and healthy lives?
Will my girls have normal vision?
Will my girls have special needs including walking, learning, and developmental?
Will my girls struggle with weight gain once they are discharged?
How will their early arrival into this world affect their overall well being and development?
The answers to these questions are almost as limitless as my list of worries. The hard part is that these questions won't be answered for a very long time which leaves me waiting and wondering, stressing and pondering.
During my times of worry though I am comforted by the simple knowledge that our Heavenly Father will get us through each and every hurdle that lay in front of us. A dear friend of mine sent me Romans 15:13 today; May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
What a powerful verse to get me through these tough times. My trust in Him truly does fill me with hope and peace. Something that all NICU Moms need on a daily basis, sometimes even just minute to minute.
Edited to add:
In the few minutes that I took to write this last night I clearly did not communicate my true feelings based on the comments. :) I do have a wonderful sense of peace and reassurance that God will get us through anything He will set before us. I know that we will persevere through any of the challenges, this does not worry me at all. I suppose my point in posting my list of worries was to give others a better sense of what goes through NICU Mom's minds as we watch over our babies day after day and also to let other NICU Moms who are reading this know that their worries are completely normal. Worries are normal but we can't let it consume us. Like my Dad always said "Worrying will get you no where, you can't fix anything or change the outcome by worrying."