It is All About the Little Things in Life

It is All About the Little Things in Life

As I sit here in the wee hours of the morning completing some motherly chores I am struck by the truth of this simple statement, both on a small scale as well as in the bigger picture of life.

In the past 48 hours my life has suddenly and unexpectedly become all about the 2 littlest things in my life. Because of my amazing husband and the outpouring of love and support from friends and family I have been able to concentrate my efforts here, 2 hours from home and the rest of my family, on my girls. My beautiful and perfectly formed baby girls. That is the big picture of the little things in my life.

On a much smaller but often times more encouraging and supportive scale, it is all about the little things in life. The little things like the amazing nursing staff here in the hospital who go out of their way to not only care for me and my girls in a physical manner but who also go that extra step and truly care about us. The nurse that took time out of her day yesterday to sit and have a real conversation with me about my girls and my family, another nurse who goes out of her way to make sure I am comfortable and without want, and even the lactation consultant who talked with me for over an hour not about lactation issues but simply genuinely cared and wanted to hear about my family; these 3 amazing and blessed women along with countless others have all deeply touched my life and added to my little things in life.

When you are a Mother to micro-preemies, caring for them and mothering them quickly becomes ALL about the little things in their life. Basic bonding and care events that I have not fully appreciated with my other children when they were newborns. Sure I enjoyed those little things with my other children when they were so young, but the significance to which the same events have become important to me in the past 48 hours goes well beyond what I have ever felt before. Simple things like touching my babies, kissing them, changing their diaper, or even just caring for their little umbilical cord. Basic newborn care events that can become routine or even inconvenient outside the scope of our situation. Every fiber of my Mothering instinct wants to be able to clean their umbilical cord, give them their first sponge baths, get them dressed, and just kiss all over them. But none of this is possible right now.

I was blessed last night as I sat with Britian talking to her, singing to her, and journaling her first couple of days of life. I was blessed by her night nurse. Her nurse graciously offered to let me help with some of her basic care needs. For the first time in her short life I got to hold my baby girl, at less than 2 pounds, fully supported in my hands as we weighed her tiny little body. I also got to change her ultra tiny diaper which was beautifully filled with an early bowel movement. I soaked in every precious moment of changing and cleaning her beautiful little backside. I was also allowed to swab and moisturize her little mouth and take her temperature. All such basic care necessities that take on a whole new level of importance when the simple fact that my girls are alive is an earth shattering miracle.

Yesterday I also read my girls their first board books. Of course I profusely cried before I even muttered the first soft word to each of them. This precious and forever treasured moment would not have happened yesterday had it not been for Britian's incredibly caring night nurse. She offered to find me some reading books and I jumped at her offer. Even now as I draft this post the specialness of that moment is not lost of me, tears are flowing from my eyes. Britian's first book was "Little Gorilla" by Ruth Bornstein and to Jillian I read "On the Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman. Both books were so perfectly written for our situation. The specialness of being able to read to my girls at their bedside coupled with the message in each of the books was overwhelming so I wept as I shared those moments with my girls.

And the biggest "little thing" that I was blessed with yesterday was getting to see one of Britian's eyes open. Both of my girls' eyes were still fused shut, much like little kittens at birth, when they were born. Prior to last night I had not been able to look into my baby's eyes, such a basic event in other new Mothers lives that many never even think to appreciate the importance of that event. The scope of this precious moment will never be lost on me again. As Britian's night nurse and I were taking care of some of her basic needs we were able to take her bili mask off. While I changed her diaper she opened her right eye and my whole world stopped. Nothing else mattered at that moment. I was looking at my daughter's tiny little eye and she was looking into mine, I was overwhelmed. So tiny but still so perfectly made.

It is All About the Little Things in Life